Sunday, October 28, 2012

Just me

Today is one week from the Marathon. I'm feeling nervous and excited. I'm anxious to just get there and get to the starting line. I have been tapering on my running and have a few very short runs this week before we get on the plane to NYC on Friday. My training is behind me. Not often, but at times, I feel as if my confidence is hanging on by a thread. Will my training get me to the finish line? I've never done this before. When I get those feelings I have to remind myself that I WILL get there. I put in the time, the training, I'm healthy, loved and supported...and I have to believe that when it comes to "go time", I'll be in the right frame of mind to carry my body and push my legs through the five boroughs of NYC.

Forty seven thousand people will run the NYC Marathon on November 4. All of them have their own reasons and wishes for their race. I am running with Team Ritter. Fifteen of us will put on the shirt with "Team Ritter" in large, purple block letters on the front and put in the 26.2. miles for ourselves and for the John Ritter Foundation. These wonderful, motivated people on Team Ritter are running because they have been touched in some way by aortic disease. My teammates motivate me so much and I do not want to let them down. And I do not want to let the Foundation, or Amy Yasbeck down! All of them have been so friendly and supportive.

But when it comes to that morning, Nov 4, putting in the miles and getting to the finish line, it will come down to just me. I'm the one who has to do it. I'm the one who is going to feel the pain in my legs, hips and knees and wrestle with all the mental tug-of-war during the marathon!! Nobody is going to take over for me when I hit the wall in the Bronx or carry me over the finish line in Central Park.
It's just me.

I am also feeling emotional about what I'm about to do. (Feeling it right now as I type.) I get choked up visualizing myself crossing the finish line. I will be thinking about what I've been through, my kids and my husband. I will be thinking about my family and friends in Michigan, Colorado, Winnipeg and many other places across North America. I will be thinking about everyone who supported me since that day of diagnosis over three years ago. I had so much love, prayers and kindness directed at me and my family during those scary weeks in 2009. And I am still feeling it as the marathon draws near. I'm running for them as much as for myself and I'm running for people I don't know who are facing aortic disease or have lost loved ones to this disease.

My wish for myself is to just breathe and take it all in. This is probably the only time I will run the NYC Marathon...I need to actually enjoy it! I have to remind myself how special and how personal this is for me. I get to do something I only dreamed of doing and I get to do it for the right reasons. I'm not trying to win the thing and I don't have a personal best to beat. I have to tell myself to put away the "numbers" and not focus as much time (although, honestly, I will feel just slightly disappointed if I do not finish in 4:30 or less...ok, putting that out of my mind!!) In my heart I know that I will finish and will feel so overwhelmingly proud and high! And I will remind myself after I finish that I survived aortic disease and open heart surgery and I was able RUN A MARATHON to raise money and awareness for the Ritter Foundation. Life is good, very, very good! Smiling now.

My 41st birthday is Nov 3, the day before the race. Crossing the finish line will be the best birthday gift ever!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

A busy few weeks

The Marathon is only 27 days away. I'm nervous and excited about it. I know that I will finish the race. I do want to finish in a respectable time, though! I'm pushing for 4:30. Anything better than that will make me so happy. Anything longer than that, well, I'll be bummed.

A super FUN Race
I finished my first Half Marathon on September 22. The Denver Rock N Roll Half was a blast. I didn't feel like it was "that" long. I loved that there were people out cheering for me and that I was running through downtown Denver, not my usual boring running trail! My favorite part (other than finishing) was at about mile 8. We turned into City Park and I am just chugging along when I see two cute kids in the distance slapping hands with the runners as they go by. Then I see my tall, handsome hubby standing there. Those are my kids!! I up my pace and I run to my kids. I step out of the crowd and hug my family. They are so excited to see me. I say that I need to continue running so I start jogging a bit, getting back into the crowd. My kids are yelling "You can do it, mom!" "I love you, Mom!" Then they start running along the route with me. It was precious. A few women around me say "Awww, they are so cute!" Finally, at the point where they cannot continue running next to me, they stop and yell "Finish strong! and You're almost to the finish line!" How cute to hear that from my kids! I continued at a relatively easy pace throughout the race until I saw the sign that said Mile 12. I felt this surge of energy and strength. I started to weave through the crowd, passing people. There were people stopping at the sides, stretching. People walking, and people who were helping others. I felt so great that I just ran as fast as I could! When I saw the finish line I felt tears come to my eyes. I finished in 2:09, six minutes faster than my goal. What a great day!

The LONG RUNG
The following week, September 29, I had my first 20 mile run planned. It was a perfect day for running. I got to the trail at 7 a.m. It was very chilly that morning, but the forecast indicated bright sun and mid-60s by the time I finished. I started to run and quickly wished that I brought a pair of cheap gloves that morning. My hands were freezing and I could see my breath as I started slowly down the trail. I was surprised that I didn't pass ONE person for about 3 miles. Surprised, and creeped out. I was basically running on a trail in a forest behind some homes. I felt very isolated. Usually there are tons of people out there running. But I quickly realized that most people out there were probably training for the Denver Marathon the week before. The marathon and half marathon had passed and people were probably at home sleeping in. My wear my iPhone on my arm and I always track my runs on an app called Endomondo. After each mile a female voice tells me what mile I just finished and my pace. I felt like it was off a bit. There are mile markers on the trail so I decided to try to follow those.

When I finally hit 10 miles, I turned around and thought "Well, it's all downhill from here." It's not literally downhill, but I felt that I was on the other side of the run and the finish would come sooner than later. After about mile 14 the miles started to get harder. And harder, longer, more difficult. I started to have a conversation in my head. "You got this, Amy. Keep running, just keep running." And then my brain would start with "This sucks, take a break and start walking. How are you going to run 26 miles in NY if you can't run 20." I had this internal struggle for the remainder of the run. It was very hard. The final few miles were brutal. My legs, hips, knees, feet were on fire, heavy and very sore. My mind was racing about my ability to finish the marathon. Instead of feeling happy that I did it, I was very conflicted about things. At home, I practically burst into tears when I saw Marlo. He asked if I finished 20 miles and I said yes. Then he said, "Why are you crying?" And I said, "Because it was so hard. I don't feel like I could have taken one more step. How can I finish 6 more miles if I can barely do 20 miles?!?!?" And Marlo said what he has been saying all along, "If it were easy, everyone would do it." And he just hugged me and I instantly felt better and my confidence started to kick in again. I just ran 20 miles! Six months ago, that seemed so impossible when I was struggling to finish 5 or 10 miles. A long hot shower later and I felt pretty great.

Vacation
Marlo and I had a trip to Napa planned for quite some time. We were to meet up with three couples, friends of his from Canada. I have never been to Napa and I love wine, so I was very excited. Marlo's mom flew in from Winnipeg to stay with the kids for the four days. We are so blessed that she is willing to do this for us. She, and my father-in-law, are also flying back here in November to watch the kids while we go to NYC. Napa was an awesome trip. I will admit that my training lost out to sleeping in, vineyard tours and late night dance parties. I had planned a 14 mile run while in Napa, but the location of our house, high up a narrow, one lane, steep road, made it impossible to do any type of distance running. I would have had to been driven down the mountain to the main road to do my run (excuses, excuses!!). So I decided to do some short hill runs around the house. The hills were very steep and difficult to run, but I managed to get some running in. Overall, I had a blast and met some wonderful new friends. But time to get serious again about the training. I have pledged to not drink until after the marathon.



I am going to do some extra miles this weekend during the long run. I'm hoping to get in 18.